I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
