soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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