Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
