Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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