You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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