you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
