Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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