ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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