id be glad to
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
