you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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