drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
The cops high fived after they tackled you
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize