i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
