He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize