Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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