I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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