508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize