Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
