Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
