this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
