Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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