I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
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