Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize