Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
