Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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