the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
