I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
