I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
