yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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