i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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