i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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