I hope mine doesn't look like that
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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