That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize