i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
