Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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