In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
