she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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