her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
is that a dick in a sweater?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
