glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
