We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Randomize
