Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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