Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I bet he comes in French.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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