Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
