i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
