he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
