I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
