I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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