Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Jerry, you need to find god
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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