I hate all girls vehemently.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
