Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
