No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
