am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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