shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
