U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
