I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
