Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I love you.
Bad choice
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
