shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
