I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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