so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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