Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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