Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
