You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize