I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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