If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
