Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
