took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
