"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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