I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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